Wishes and Goals

I am basing this blog on 3 quotes that I have really liked. Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, "A goal without a plan is just a wish." Steve Maraboli said, “If you have a goal, write it down. If you do not write it down, you do not have a goal - you have a wish." Zig Ziglar said, “The great majority of people are “wandering generalities” rather than “meaningful specifics”. The fact is that you can't hit a target that you can't see. If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. You have to have goals.” 

 

How many times have you said or heard others say, "I wish I could do that" or "I have always wanted to do that or be like that or..."  The difference between a "wish" and "goal" is the ability and the willingness to make it a reality. The courage of conviction and being steadfast in what you want done, converts our wishes to goals.  It should also be accompanied by a lot of discipline.

 

I notice that life changing events typically cause such wishes to become goals.  Many of us go around talking of why we need to lose weight and actually do very little about it other than putting down few more ice-creams every week. Till such time we get in to a health issue. Then, all of a sudden, things fall in place. Why does this happen? It is because we are faced with an adversity and in the face of adversity, the best comes out in us. The situation also pushes us in to a tight corner.  We begin to lose weight, feel fantastic, the health issue begins to fade and, lo and behold, we are back to our old ways. Why does this happen? In my opinion, absolute lack of discipline. We, of course, blame it on lousy work hours, travel, etc. However, we are not sure how we made it happen when it really had to be done.  It comes down to discipline.

 

A goal is a wish that can come true. A goal can have a plan, you can think through how to make it happen, you can put some timeline and it may take more or less time than you thought it would and finally, if you put in hard work, it may just come true.

 

What happens when a wish comes in another form?  These are opportunities. They come and they go. We have to recognize them and, if they are in line with our goals, we need to grab them with both our hands. I had written earlier that luck is opportunity meeting preparedness - the right person at the right time, at the right place, with the right attitude and the right level of preparedness.  A wish can become a goal when there is "luck".

 

As you will see, for a wish to become a goal, there is always lot of hard work necessary. Hard work does not happen by chance. It needs will power and this is what I would call discipline.  Without that discipline, it becomes impossible for a wish to turn in to a goal.  Or, in other words, action converts a wish in to a goal and needs a lot of hard work and discipline.

 

So, how do we bring about action and discipline. The first thing to do is to write down your wish - "I want to lose weight". Now, also put down the why..."I want to feel healthy", "I want to feel lively", "I want to be brisk", "I want to look and feel good", etc. Once you start writing it down and reading it daily, your sub-conscious mind takes it in. The minute it is in to your sub-conscious mind, it helps the conscious mind to focus on it and convert it in to action.  Have you observed women walking around in a shopping mall? You will notice that a mom seems to be interested and looking for children clothing, toys, etc. Others who are not moms are looking for accessories, new clothes, personal care items.  This is how the sub-conscious mind works.  So, you can train the sub-conscious mind to think the way you want and the best way to do that is to put things down in writing.  That is why Steve Maraboli would have said, "If you have a goal, write it down....."

 

Just by writing it down, can you turn all your wishes in to goals? Not really. You need to know what you can do and what you cannot. I am reminded of a mail I received from a friend of mine. She said, "I read this book in which this person meets the lady of his life after many years. He had thought this lady had died. I was imagining how happy he would have felt seeing her after so many years. How I wish my husband was alive."  By putting this wish down in writing, can she make this a goal and get her dead husband back?  As I know of it now, I don't believe so.  So, whilst you must write down your wishes to convert them to goals, you must also realize that they are attainable - some with lots of hard work and perseverance over many years.

 

I got a message on my mobile from a very old friend of mine. She wrote, "Ravi, I have achieved my goal of getting my son to pass 10th grade. His teachers and doctors never believed this could happen. I so badly wanted it to happen and, finally, after 3 years, it has become a reality." This was a son who is a slow child and was struggling his way through school. 3 years ago, she decided to go part time and spend half a day with her son so that she could get him to pass the 10th grade exams. She needed a full time job but decided that she will cut back on her expenses and do with a part time job so that she could focus on her son. His future was more important to her. He was then in 7th grade. After 3 years of some real hard work, perseverance and belief and faith that she could do it, she has finally achieved it. 3 years ago she told me, "How I wish I can get him to pass his 10th grade exams." Her wish has come true and this is because of action combined with discipline and hard work.

 

I responded to her, "For those who do not believe that God exists, this is a fantastic example of how He worked through you to make your son go through these exams and pass them. He is there in each one of us, but we do not recognize Him. He actually shows Himself in different ways. This time, he has chosen to reveal Himself through you."

Deciding on behalf of others

"Control your own destiny or someone else will", said Jack Welsh. Someone wrote that Karma (the word that stands for the law of cause and effect) is Negotiable. William Henley says, "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." We go about our lives believing that we decide for ourselves and do not let anyone take control of our lives. We also do not want to decide for others...it is such a pain to do that...and sometimes we have to do that...these guys for whom we have to sometimes decide for are losers...we just cannot believe that someone is letting us decide for them.

 

The day starts with a cup of tea - your spouse brought it for you. He/she had decided how much water and milk to put in to that cup of tea. You got ready to go to office and on your way grabbed the banana that was left on the table for you by your spouse. You made the choice of taking the banana because, honestly, there was no other choice. Between the pancake and the banana, the latter was a healthier choice.

 

As you reached the bus-stop, you said a quick hello to the few who travel with you in the same bus daily. Your day never started without them...of course, that was not your choice.  You got in to the bus and today, the bus is running 10 minutes late. You are upset but you have to choose the bus as it is economical. Wish you could take a taxi.  You are late, traffic has started building up and the bus driver suddenly decides to make up part of the lost time. He steps on the accelerator and the bus lunges forward. As the bus speeds on, you think that this fellow is driving dangerously. Gosh, but you are not in control of the bus. The bus speeds on and jumps a traffic light. The bus is stopped by a police officer for traffic violation and post all that you reach your destination - 20 minutes late. Today, you really wish that you were the bus driver. At least, you would not have over-sped and put the lives of so many people inside and outside the bus in danger. You would not have delayed the passengers further.

 

As you stepped out of the bus, God decided to take over. He sent a massive cloud above the city you live in and it started pouring. Before you knew it, you were drenched.  As you walked in to office soaked, your assistant gave you a towel to wipe yourself. Somehow, you have always wanted a white towel and she gives you the blue one.  As you wiped yourself dry, she brought you a nice, hot cup of tea. She always knew the exact ingredients and quantities to put in to make this lovely cup of tea.

 

As you sipped the hot cup of tea, you dialed in to the conference call for your first meeting of the day. These guys from all over the world had not agreed with your plan and you needed to take them through your plans and get them to agree with you. They called it "influencing skills" in your office. God, how you hated it. You just hoped you did not have to face all this bureaucracy.  Someone, sitting thousands of miles away, assumed he knew more about the markets you sell in. He had come up with such ridiculous sales policies.  There were so many things that you had to contend with before you could sell. Wish these so-called strategists and pricing experts just let you do your work in peace. And guess what...they tell you that you are aggressive and want to sell at all costs without taking in to account the company policies. That you should not decide on their behalf. You just don't believe it...you always thought that they were trying to decide on your behalf.

 

The day went on with such meetings...you trying to influence others and everyone else trying to influence you.  You felt everyone else in office was deciding on your behalf and many felt that you were deciding on theirs.

 

As you entered home, took a shower and sat down in front of the TV, you decided to watch football. Whilst you decided on watching football, you did that because this Cable TV provider had only 30 channels.  So, your choice was only from within these 30 channels.

 

As you sat down for dinner with your spouse, you reflected on the day that went by. In most of the situations, starting from how much water in your tea, to the speed of the bus, to the traffic violation, to the colour of the towel, to the policies in office, you had limited to no choice. Everyone else seemed to be making a decision on your behalf. And yet, we go through life wanting to be the master of our destinies. 

 

Actually, we seem to be doing a better job controlling others' destinies. I was reminded of various wars where few of us decide on behalf of the majority. These few decide on when and how to fight these wars, when and how we start these wars and when and how we use international mechanisms to send our own peace keeping forces after having started or participated from behind the scenes in these wars. We seem to be having at least 1 war going on somewhere in the world at any point in time. Did all these people impacted by these wars want the war? What if you are impacted by one of these wars directly? Are you fine with someone deciding on a war that impacts you and your family?

 

We believe that this is our life. That we need to manage our destinies. That we need to manage our careers. However, when you reflect on what happens around you in life, you will notice that there is very little in your destiny that you control. However, there is so much that you decide on behalf of others. This is the fact of our lives. We seem to decide on behalf of each other.

Luck

Jack Welsh writes in his book "Straight from the Gut" that one of the key reasons he got the top job at GE was because he was at the right place and at the right time and, therefore, got noticed.  He is being modest.  Louis Pasteur said, "Chance favours the prepared mind."  Seneca says, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."

I was reflecting on my career and thought I will share some examples of the luck that I have had. Whilst working in the Business Finance function in an IT company, I wanted to be in Sales. I had this fascination for customer, for generating revenue, for being in the thick of action.  However, at that time, I was told that I cannot sell IT products because I did not have the right educational background. It was then that I started thinking and asked my self as to what I can sell given that I was a professionally qualified accountant. The answer that kept coming back to me was financial services and in those days, it was predominantly, banking. So, I told this to the Treasurer of the IT company that I was working for.  Few months later, a situation arose. The Treasurer had referred another person to a leading foreign bank in India for a job. His name was also Ravi. An interview had been arranged and that other Ravi did not turn up for the interview. So, the banker called the Treasurer and asked him as to why Ravi had not come for the interview. The Treasurer looks at me (read as right place - right time) while talking to the banker on the phone - and it struck him that I had similar interests and immediately to save face tells the banker that he had held up "Ravi" at office with some work and will send him immediately for the interview. He called me and asked me to attend the interview. I went ahead and did that and that's how I got a job in banking. Yes, I was at the right place at the right time...but, I was fully prepared because I had clarified in my mind that this is what I wanted to do. I had done research on the types of jobs. I had found out what these jobs entailed and when I attended the interview, I was fully prepared.

There have been other instances in my career but something that happened very recently was when the job of my erstwhile manager came up.  Initially, I was wondering if I was suitable for the role.  However, I realized that I was managing a large part of the organization, had done back office roles in the past, had run a profit centre (even though this job was to manage a cost centre) and knew what it was to handle tough customers. So, I agreed to attend the interview for the position.  Despite the fact that I had been doing a role at the next lower level for years, I refused to the take this opportunity for granted.  I knew I had prepare my self physically, mentally and also bring in the right energies within myself . It started from writing up my resume, to talking to many people who had done different roles at the higher level so that I could understand what could go wrong at that level and also to role-play various scenarios with my family and friends.  I also actively sought help with a retired person who had initially set up the role in the company and discussed various choice points he had when he managed the job and checked as to why he had made some choices.  I had spoken to over 20 people. This gave me much more clarity on the role and made me increasingly confident that I could do the role, though it would take time to get used to it.  The preparedness gave me the confidence.  Confidence also came because I started realizing that to do this complex job effectively, one needed the right attitude.  At no point in time I under-estimated the asks of the job.  That helped me build the right attitude towards the role and also understand the risks of taking on the role. I also understood the risks for the person giving me the job and so decided to articulate that with action plans on how to mitigate those risks (in terms of what I would do and by when).  I prepared myself physically and mentally for the role initially. Then, I started looking at the job from its asks of me with regard to attitude.  I had to harness a positive energy. So, I started aligning the body, the mind and the energies. Within 6 weeks, I could feel the difference in me.  When I walked out of the interview (it was a telephonic one and, therefore, much more difficult to understand the body language of the other person), I knew I had given it my best shot.  I got the role and I knew that lot of work had gone in to it despite being at the right time and at the right place.  What Seneca and Louis Pasteur said came to my mind.  It was preparedness meeting opportunity.

Yes, luck is about being at the right time and at the right place but there is something more to it. You have to be prepared and grab it with both your hands. You must have the right attitude for it...so, to me, luck is the prepared person at the right time at the right place with the right attitude.

Office Politics

I will try and build this blog on two quotes of Plato - the first one is “One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”   The second one is - “good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.”  

 

Winston Churchill said,  "If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is Lord Keynes, in which case you get three opinions."  The same holds good in any office. Where you have more than one person, there will be multiple opinions. Given so many opinions, there is bound to be a push and pull for influencing the organization on the opinions. This will result in what we call office politics - who has a better say on matters in the organization and how do you influence the organization to think along the lines that you do.  I would call it, for want of a better term, healthy politics. There is also politics that we play to gain advantage within an organization that is at the cost of others. This, I will call unhealthy politics.

 

Whoever you speak to will tell you that they are bad at office politics and that they cannot play it. This is because we all have a bad connotation to the term office politics. I am also someone who has said that I am bad at politics. However, looking back at my career, I can say that I have worked hard to influence people on my opinions and what I believe have believed to be appropriate for the organization at that point in time. I have had my way many times and have not been successful many times.  So, anyone who says that he/she is not good at politics could be someone who is not able to influence the organization along the lines of his/her thoughts.

 

To me, office politics is a way of life in an organization. We will indulge in some form of politics daily. Given that situation, it would be good to involve ourselves in the healthy form. There is a very thin line between what we term as healthy and unhealthy. So, what is really needed is a method where we can govern ourselves.  What I mean by self-governance is where we debate and have difference of opinions based on issues and not on personalities, where we are not part of the rumour mill, where we work with a very high level of integrity, where we are a role model for our teams and where we always put the organization above the self.  Such a form of self governance helps in reducing the impact of unhealthy politics and actually converts all unhealthy politics in to healthy politics.

 

So, why is there a poor connotation attached to office politics? We have always used the term office politics to convey something unethical is being done when we have not had our way. Over time, politics has come to mean something that is not healthy to practice within organizations. And can you avoid it? The answer is no...so, it seems that everyone working in an office plays politics (and we believe that more often than not it is the unhealthy kind) but no one is willing to accept it. Each one of us thinks "Everyone else, except me is in to politics."

 

I have also fallen in to the trap of thinking so. However, on reflection, I believe that we can segregate politics and by using self-governance, can actually play healthy politics and in a proper fashion and actually be proud of it.

 

So, how do you play healthy politics? I would say that you need to understand influencers within an organization, build informal networks, collaborate across boundaries, make use of opportunities to showcase the good work that you have done, plan for what can go wrong, remain positive and spread positive thoughts, take a stance based on issues and not on personalities, voice your opinion in a way that does not hurt people but be fearless in voicing your opinion and be a role model for your team.  It would also be useful to make your boss successful. After all, that is what demonstrates your trust in him/her and also that you are aligned.

 

So, the next time there is a conversation on office politics, please do not hesitate to say that you do play office politics. It is only the "how" that matters. As Plato said, do participate in politics and also be that person who does not need laws to tell you to act responsibly. Such an approach will create a tremendous positive attitude and atmosphere in the teams that you manage.

Resilience

There are many things that are similar. But, not many things are the same. Our fingers are different, the people we meet are different, the situations that we encounter are different. All of us know that each day of ours is not the same. Then, why do we expect our performance to be the same year after year?

Every day is new for us and completely different from the earlier one. We go through the day and, at times, come out well. Other days are just really long days and we struggle through them. This will be the same with regard to our performance too. Some years will be good and some will not be. That does not mean that we have become low performers. We need to just go through the lean times and bounce back. As I said earlier in another blog of mine, it does not matter how many times you fall. What matters is how fast do you get back on to your feet, dust yourself off and move on.  In the journey of our career which could be 40 years, there will be significant ups and downs. We need to manage that. And to do that, what we really need is resilience.

Many years ago, my friend and I were talking when the company we worked for got a new CEO. He told me as to how many CEOs had come and gone and the company still survived. It had been a bit difficult to change the original culture of the company though things had changed.  Though he did not say it, I could hear him say, "The CEO is dead...long live the CEO!!!"  Yes, he had seen many changes at the top and had survived and had worked for few of them. I then asked him as to what was it that he had that made him survive so many leaders, their likes and dislikes, the changes in direction the company had to take because of each of them, the confusion within the company ranks, etc. He smiled and said, "Resilience, my friend".  You need enough energy to see this one through and get to the next one!!!

I found that very funny and annoying too.  Why do I need to stick around if I get a lousy boss or a boss who does not see eye to eye with me? I can just find another job within the company or outside of it and move on. Again, he smiled and told me that sticking around and managing when things are changing constantly is one of the most difficult things to do. He said if there is so much uncertainty all around, things can be difficult and frustrating. However, he had learnt to live through those. It was because he loved the company very much. He liked coming in to office everyday. He wanted to stand by his team because circumstances were difficult. And, most importantly, he knew that harsh winters give way to a lovely spring and a beautiful summer.  Just like we change clothes to meet the seasons so that we feel comfortable, we need to change some of our mental clothes.  This, he called, resilience.

 

As weather patterns change, we need to survive. We wear thicker or thinner or more or less clothes, switch on an air-conditioner or a room heater, wear a cap, carry an umbrella...we do so many things to physically protect ourselves. What do we do to survive change within organizations? We don't seem to change to mentally protect ourselves. We continue to behave the same despite changing circumstances. So, how do we develop this approach to change based on the changing requirements?  You could turn around and ask me - is survival the end game or the only game you need to play? Don't you want to stand up and call out poor management as and when that happens? Don't you want to fight the system if you feel only wrongs are getting done?  Yes, while all this is necessary, it is essential to survive to be able to do these effectively. And for that, we need to be flexible and show some resilience. 

 

Our ability to weather the storm (as they would call it) is built through character, personal courage, the passion for work, the love for the organization and the care for our colleagues.  All these put together create a mental toughness in us. It comes with training and some in-born tenacity.  It does not allow us to give up...there is always a larger cause that we see that is more important than the situation in hand. The larger cause could be the passion, the love, the care and these are supported by the character that we build in ourselves.  I call this resilience.

 

I am sure each of you has your own definition of resilience. What ever it is, I believe that it is essential to be resilient to make things happen in organizations.  Go ahead...build that resilience and be the change.

Alignment

I was reflecting on a situation that I faced years ago where I had one of my team members vehemently disagreeing with me on an approach. After hearing him out for sometime, I got tired and told him to just do what I had said I wanted done. He went away very unhappy.  As I reflected, I asked myself as what would I have done today if I met with the same situation.  Over the years since I was faced with the situation mentioned above, I have had many who have not agreed on an approach suggested by me. This could be because they did not see the situation from my vantage point, they had a different view given customer compulsions, they were not privy to all information and many other reasons.  If I am unable to get past the disagreement, I tell them that I am not looking for agreement but alignment.

 

I have myself disagreed with the approach taken by my managers (read bosses) at times and I express my difference of opinion. However, if I cannot get my boss around to think like me, I align because what the organization needs is alignment.

 

So, how can you align if you do not agree to what is being told to you? This is a really difficult question.  In such situations, it is necessary to view this from your boss's shoes. If you are convinced with the his/her points of view, then you agree. If you don't then you need to ask the question as to what is he/she not telling you.  If there are indeed things that he/she is not telling you, then, you need to trust your boss and move on. If there is nothing, then, there is a clear disagreement and you need to figure out your course of action.  If the disagreement is fundamental to your core principles, it is best to let your boss know that there is conflict and he/she will know that you will move on out of this job because living with such conflicts become difficult.  However, if there is no such fundamental disagreement, then, let trust play out. I have always seen that if you trust and align, your boss feels increasingly obliged to tell you more and more of all situations while seeking alignment.

 

The science of yoga asks for alignment of the body, the mind and the energy. It really does not ask for agreement. This is primarily because "you" are not the body, the mind or the energy. You are different from each of these and you will have to ensure that this alignment happens. Many a time you struggle to get agreement - while you want to bend forward, the body is not in a shape to do that. So, the body is not aligned to your needs and, therefore, does not agree to your request. However, the body is making a request to you - "Can you please get me fit enough to get aligned to your needs." If "you" really want to be the master, you need to get the body, the mind and the energy to align because you control them.

 

If you are a good manager (read boss), you will get your team to align by first preparing them for the need and then requesting their agreement and alignment. When your teams are prepared (like the body or the mind), they are in a better position to agree and align.

 

Of course, despite all the preparation, you will find those situations where someone does not agree with your assessment. This is more so when you have larger teams. This is why communication across layers and larger teams are difficult and need more time spent on intent of thought than just the "what" that needs to be communicated.  It is important to communicate the "what" and the "why" and not just the "what".  If we do that and leave the "how" to our teams, we find better agreement and alignment.  Many a time, we do not do this because we are in a hurry. Most leaders don't look for agreement...what is essential for them is alignment.  Most good leaders will vary their approach...when the situation is not one of fixing a huge problem, it is agreement and alignment. When the situation is break-fix and somewhat of a "all hands on deck" situation, then, it is alignment and not necessarily agreement. As I always say, there is no right or wrong...it depends on the situation and that too at that point in time for that individual.

Climbing Mount Everest

She looked nervous and uncertain as she walked out of the interview room.  I turned around to talk to the Head of Human Resources (HR) when she suddenly re-entered the room and said, "Sir, I really need this job."  This was a lady who was trying to get a hold on her life. She had been abandoned by her husband a month after their wedding. She had waited for his return for 3 years, had been asked by her family not to come back to their home as she had chosen to marry against their wishes and was now going through divorce. The 3 years had shattered her confidence beyond belief.  She got up one day and decided that she needed to get back to "living". And for this, she needed a job.  She started searching for a job and that was when she came in for an interview.  This was someone trying to conquer a huge mountain in her mind. It was equivalent of climbing the tallest peak in the world - Mount Everest - probably, even higher.  The HR Head and I decided to give her a helping hand.

All of us have heard of or seen people who have faced significant odds in their lives to come through stronger.  We all may have even gone through such odds ourselves.  Every time we are faced with a difficult situation that seems impossible at that time, we need to remember that the impossibility or the huge mountain that we see in front of us is only in our mind's eye.  If we decide to remain positive and confident, the size of the mountain reduces gradually and we realize that there is flat land in front of us.

One of the biggest mountains that all of us faced as a child was deciding to walk. Each of us fell down so many times - we cried, we laughed...but, every time, we got up, dusted ourselves and tried walking again.  The same thing happened when we tried to learn talking. These were huge mountains for each of us, but we managed to climb them.  If we could do these when we were less than 3 years, why do we suddenly lose hope and confidence when we are much older and probably better equipped?

 

As we progress as a society and create more opportunities for ourselves, we need to focus on building mental resilience.  Mental resilience, as I see it, is nothing but the character that we build for ourselves. Character is again nothing but our personal values, our strengths, the skills that we have developed and the resources that we can pull out of our armoury apart from personal courage.  I bring up character because someone who nurtures this will have a strong sense of purpose, integrity, confidence and belief.  Taking accountability comes naturally to them. This also means that they will live down their mistakes and move on in lives - getting up quickly, dusting yourself and running after every fall.  This character building is essential for leaders.

 

Many studies have been done on societies that live under stress and what has helped them in coping with this stress.  A study done in Israel on how the society has coped with stress over the so many years of war and terrorism shows certain patterns - a feeling of personal security, social support and optimism reinforces resilience against symptoms of traumatic stress. Other research found that religious faith, ideology and strong social bonds also helped in building resilience.  So, while we focus and build on character, it is essential to live with strong social bonds.

 

As we have heard many say - It does not matter how many times you fall...what matters is how many times you stand up, shake it off and move forward. Also, what matters is how quickly are you willing to get up and run. When we do this, we realize that many a time we are faced with climbing Mount Everest, but always, it is our mind that decides whether we will conquer it or not.