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Thursday 17 May 2012

Happiness - A State of Mind

I am a bit impatient when I drive. Those who know off Indian roads, know well that the rules of the road are seldom followed. This irritates drivers like me who follow rules.  When people break the rules, I would swear, "Son of a b$x!\@".  I would not wait to think as to who was with me in the car. One such day 7 years ago, when someone broke the rule, I was about to scream but my 4 year old beat me to it. She said, "Dad, son of a b$x!@" ???  I felt terrible and told her not to repeat that again and apologized to her for doing it myself.  When I got back home I was reminded of an old story of a New York Cabbie.

In New York, many don't follow the rules of the road. A person traveling in a cab saw how the cab driver was managing the traffic. He was driving with a huge smile and humming to himself despite many cars cutting him off on the road or plain just breaking every rule.  The person asked the cabbie, "Are you not upset with these guys who just don't follow the rules?"  The cabbie replied, "Sir, everyday, many people throw garbage at you. This could be in the form of abuses or just irritating you by not following rules or doing something that gets to you.  We need to remember that it is left to us whether to take this garbage on to us or not. If we decide not take the garbage, life is that much more peaceful."

The story taught me a very important lesson in life - People can do anything, but each of us can decide how to receive it and this is what results in how we react to the situation.  If we decide to remain positive and happy, no one can take that away from us.  If we decide to blame everyone else for the situation that we are in and behave like a victim, no one can bring happiness to an unhappy soul like us.

I have seen many people who are in a very good situation in life but are unhappy because something has not worked out in their lives.  I have heard of situations where people get tensed and remain unhappy because they did not have a new dress to wear for a party in the evening.  It would be great if such people just paused and thought of the millions of people who do not even have a proper dress to wear or more than one meal a day. As the great Indian Poet Kannadasan once wrote, "There are millions of people worse off than you. Think of them and the situations they are in and you will get peace of mind." (This is a poor translation of what he wrote in an Indian language called Tamil).

I have also seen so many people who live happily despite all the problems that they face in life. They overcome their difficulties and keep moving on cheerfully. These are the people who are the real heroes in life. Just imagine the world where everyone in the morning train that you take to work actually exchanges a smile with each other...a smile can go a long way and it is one commodity that gets returned by the other person with a very high rate of interest!!!  Yes, happiness is state of mind and you can decide to either be happy or not. If you decide to be happy, no one or nothing can make you unhappy.