Leadership is about doing the right things....

When I brought her home, she was less than a foot tall and was few weeks old. Today, she stands tall at close to 40 feet and towers over our home…she is our favourite Christmas tree. Nobody expected her to grow this tall when we planted her in front of the house. We thought she would be around 15 to 20 feet and that was the height that we wanted so that we could get her properly decorated during Christmas, take a look at the top of her from our roof, etc. But, life wanted something else and she did the right thing by going with what life wanted – she grew to 40 feet and is still going strong!!!

Like this lovely Christmas tree, there are many who do the right thing…not just do things right. There are many who just want to do things right even if they are the wrong things. As I watched the debate in the Indian Parliament, I was surprised to see some young leaders from the current Opposition Party in India say things that I am sure even they would not stand by in private. Yes, of course, lots of things are said in the heat of the moment. Yes, of course, lots of things are said because you are in the opposition party. But, when it comes to what is best for the nation, there cannot be division along party lines. It should only be dictated by the conscience and true Leaders focus on doing what is right rather than doing things right.

Similarly, when it comes to the workplace, true leaders stand out when they stand up for what is right and do what is right by the organization and their team rather than getting things right. That is the difference between a leader and a manager. The manager focuses on doing things the right way whilst the leader focuses on doing the right thing.

What is right or wrong, depends on the circumstances of the case and will be subject to different opinions. That is why we find so many decisions trashed by people who take charge as leaders and say things that are uncharitable about their predecessor. They do not know the situation in which their predecessor was when s/he took that decision.

Many a time I have been asked as to why I took some decisions in favour of employees rather than the organization. I always held, and still do hold, the belief that Leaders should be kind rather than right. The person sitting in front of you is more important than the organization that both of you work for. Here, I have always felt that taking the side of the individual (not when the person has committed a crime or a fraud) over the corporation was the right thing to do. So much so that some of my HR Business Partners would call me a weak leader who did not have the courage to take those “tough” decisions. “So be it”, was my response always.

When the honey hunter in the Sundarbans stood in front of the hive filled with honey, he cut out only 75% of it. He could have been more efficient if he had cut the whole hive off. He then said a prayer and set off. He came back in to the jungles after few months to the same tree and found a full hive of honey!!! By leaving the 25%, he had brought the honey bees back to re-build the hive. He had been effective. Just imagine, searching for a new place in the whole jungle to figure out where the bees have set up their hive. He avoided that and saved considerable time. He did the right thing by leaving behind the 25%. He would have done things right if he had cut off 100% of the hive. In other words, he would have been efficient but not effective. Peter Drucker said this, “Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right thing.”

So many Akbars bring out the Krishna in all of us daily…

My friend, Venkat, was thankful as the bumpy ride in to Purulia District came to an end and his car stopped over at the Chargali Village (a remote location in the midst of nowhere!!!). He badly needed to step out of the Ambassador Car and stretch. With a population of around 2500, this village has a small school with around 150 children. eVidyaloka (www.evidyaloka.org), a not-for-profit social enterprise, has set up a Digital Classroom for remote education and works with around 90 of these children providing them with high quality schooling. Education that is carried along in the 3G networks from over 110 cities across the world to remote villages like Chargali.

Akbar Ansari is there to ensure that this school functions and children are all studying instead of working in the fields. He has influenced people and the government to set up this school and get in children to study. He is putting that society in to the digital and development orbit that they could not have otherwise imagined.

Chargali, is a story of hope and aspirations being delivered over 3G Networks – not just education. And Akbar is leaving no stone unturned to make this happen – literally, he is in the farm the whole day and then comes over to the school. To ensure safe keeping of the systems, he sleeps in the school itself.

As I tuned in to the English News Channels that evening, all channels seemed to be carrying news of someone taking objection to the way a lady had dressed herself as his religion, he said, didn’t permit this kind of dress. As I watched in absolute disbelief, I could not but remember how Akbar was working hard in Chargali to empower children of the new India. And, here was someone else on TV being divisive. And the fun was that the TV Channels were not giving air time to Akbar but to this other person!!!

I couldn’t help but think how two inventions of humankind were at work – first, the divisive lines of religion that has ripped apart humanity and secondly, the wires of data that are helping connect them back…time will tell whether better sense prevails or not…maybe, it is time for another Krishna or for the Krishna of our Collective Consciousness to surface. As this thought came to me, my friend messaged me the lyrics of the song Krishna Nee Begane Baro (sung by Hariharan of Colonial Cousins) – “Come back as Jesus, come back and save the world. Preserve the future of every boy and girl. Come back as Rama, forgive us for what we’ve done…Come back as Allah…Come back as anyone…Krishna Nee Begane Baro.”

Akbar and Venkat - two individuals separated by many rivers and mountains – one who wants to make a difference to the children of Chargali and the other who wants to make a difference to the children of India. Both, driven by a common goal – make this world a better place to live in!!!

It is people like Venkat and Akbar that bring out the Krishna/Allah/Jesus in all of us. As Venkat got in to the car to head back, he was lost in thought. His mind wandered to a quote he had read, “Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere and, sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.”

L&L

If you thought that L&L is a corporate short form like Johnson & Johnson, well, that is not correct...it stands for Love and Laughter. As I was walking to this mentoring session, I was wondering what is in store for me in this session. Every session with this individual had been a huge learning for me. This was someone who seemed to see the negatives in life. He somehow just saw conspiracies around him and I told him that if the start point in relationships was trust, there was no conspiracy. Somehow, after having been bitten so many times, he was struggling to start on the premise of trust.

So, I tried a different path with him - the path of love and laughter. You don't need to trust the person, but you can always wish the person that only good happens to her/him. For that to happen, only love and laughter were needed. Are we in a position to provide that love and laughter to everyone in our lives?

A difficult question and one that I struggle with many times. How can I bring myself to think that only good should happen to someone who has always wanted to trouble me in some way or the other? Someone who has been a thorn in my personal life or has played petty politics at office to ruin my reputation or has just been an absolute pain to see or live with or work with daily. And then it struck me - I am not doing this for him/her...I am doing this for myself. If you want happiness, love and laughter in your life, think only good things can happen to you and for others.

As someone said, "There is no better medicine than a good dose of love and laughter everyday." Doesn't mean you kind of wear a "Love and Laughter" hat and punch in some L&L time - it is how you live your life - what you speak, how you carry yourself, your thoughts, your mindset and everything about you - it should be positive not only for you but for everyone who comes in touch with you.

I tend to do this L&L in spurts. I tried this out for the first time in 1988 and somehow life changed for me. I did this again in 1992 and then in 1998....life changed significantly. Somehow, I have not been able to do this since then. But, it is inside each one of us and each one of us is capable of L&L - only that we do not choose to bring it out.

What was the impact on me when it was L&L time? I can remember the happiness around, the atmosphere was electric always and all around me were only positive thoughts. Life was not a bore - there was never a dull moment. Every moment seemed to send me a signal that there is a reason to smile. Most importantly, I was aware of all this. Just imagine your life being like this? And guess what - it is inside each of us - only that we choose not to opt for pressing the button!!!

We wake up everyday wanting it to be a great day. But within few minutes of waking up, we are surfing the news only to see how so many disagreeable things are happening around us in this world. So, the best thing would be to stop looking at your mobile or tablet or the TV in the morning. Focus on yourself, what you are going to do that day, get some exercise and meditation and get on with some reading that will make you a better individual. Start looking at the positive side of everything in life - I said everything!!! 

Yakov Smirnoff said, "I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good. If love is the treasure, laughter is key."

I am trying to bring this practice back this year - we can each make 2017 the best year yet for us - go for L&L!!!

History books and pride in our country....

After 18 months of going on steroids for a skin virus, I was told that this virus would remain dormant and strike as and when required. It will be around for 25+ years. Every time it strikes, it will be the same steroids. The side effects of the steroids were not worth the trouble. I looked around for alternatives and was told that the old Indian Medicinal system, Ayurveda, had a solution. So, after 3 years, I decided to meet an Ayurvedic Doctor. He took a look at my skin, felt my pulse and wrote out his prescription. He asked me to pick up the medicines at the counter in his pharmacy. I did that. I meet him every 2 months and have never had an attack since then. Don’t mistake me….I am not against the allopathy form of medicine. This true story is to convey that I had not had the courage to try out the Indian version like many of us in India….I wondered why?

A look in to the history text books in India will be part of the answer. When I studied history in school in India, I read it from two really thick text books. A small part in the beginning taught us the Indus Valley Civilization and then some parts of recorded history like the Maurya Dynasty.  The balance of the books (around 80%-85% of the books) were on the successive invasion of India by various tribes from the North West. I learnt how India was annexed by successive rulers like the Ghazni, Ghori, the Slave Dynasty, the Mughals and then the British. I learnt how we were kicked around in succession by various countries. I learnt all this in a foreign language (English). I did not learn the language in which all our original texts were written up – Sanskrit. Over a period of time, I learnt to appreciate everything foreign from clothing, to food, to way of life and also medicine. Nothing wrong in any of this….but I did not know that there was an India before all this…and that it was an amazing civilization. I am not giving this as an excuse but this is a fact for most Indians today.

It was not just me but my dad and his dad had also learnt only parts of the amazing civilization that existed. We all thought and believed that our great epics were fiction (mythology) and all characters were fictitious. I grew up believing the same. The Indian History Texts (Puranaas) talked of the Maurya Dynasty and the ones after that and I believed that part because the Greek Historians also wrote about them. I didn’t believe anything else that the Puranaas wrote on and recorded and they had a lot before these periods. I always needed a foreign text or confirmation on a fact about India before I believed it. I had lost pride in everything Indian.

Oppenheimer’s response to a question on how he felt having exploded the first atomic bomb on earth was the eye opener. He said, “Not the first atomic bomb but the first one in modern history.”….he clearly believed that the description in Mahabharata given on a device that caused destruction all around was actually the first atomic bomb in recorded history. And then, suddenly, Mahabharata was no more just a story book or long poem written by some Sage Veda Vyasa. It became a reality.  Even today, many of my generation and the generation before that and all after my generation still believe that Ramayana and Mahabharata are mythology.

I believe that it is time to re-write our history books, to re-introduce Sanskrit as a compulsory language to learn and bring to life what we have been thinking as stories. There is now enough archaeological evidence that our great epics were a good representation of the happenings of those days. In typical Indian style they were written in verses and the interpretation could be varied. The inner meaning was understood by few and passed down by word of mouth. This was the mistake they made. Information was not democratized.

Many temples in South East Asia, Middle East (as far of as Lebanon where an ancient pyramid has been found with a lotus carved in it) have Indian Architectural influence. The Brihadeswara Temple in Tanjore has amongst its various carvings, one carving of a European King and one of a Chinese Emperor. How, such an accurate depiction was possible seems to baffle historians as movement across these countries started only in the 1300s as recorded by history. Similarly, the Shaolin Kung Fu style of Martial Art seems to have travelled from India to China. Not that some form of martial arts did not exist in China before that. However, the Shaolin Kung-Fu style seems to be influenced from the Indian Form that the Indian Monk Bodhidharma took from India. He seems to have worked with various Buddhist Monks to help translate Sanskrit Books of knowledge to Chinese. These are recorded in history as in the period somewhere between 380 and 500 CE (or AD)…no one seems to have an exact timeline.

The work done by Indians in the field of Maths, Astronomy, General and Spiritual Well-being (Yoga), Medicine, is there to be seen. Only that we have not learnt the language and we have quickly lost that history and they remain as names that we recall now and then and say that they are great. These are the scholars that need to be studied in our history. This is the history that we need in our books in India….this is the history that should be for most part of our books. The last 1000 years need to be studied too…but then that is only the last 1000 years in a history that spans thousands of years. It should only get that space it deserves – definitely not most of the text books that we study.

This is a serious topic and I believe that we should wake up and help our friends in the NCERT to re-write the history books to reflect accurately what a truly great nation we were and are. If you want pride in your nation, it is a must that you learn its fantastic history in the right manner and with an accurate version. We should not be a nation that will believe its history only when it is stated by a foreigner.

There is no need to be ashamed of our past. This is not saffronization as we are made to believe. This is the real history. So, let us wake up and re-write the books.

Chasing Shadows

"When you are in the light, everything follows you. But when you enter in to the dark, even your shadow doesn't follow you" - Unknown. There are many such sayings on how a shadow leaves you when it is dark. And these statements have been made in different contexts. However, most of the times they have been made in the context of a Leader having to be in the limelight to have followers.

As in a shadow, a Leader is only as good if s/he has followers or that is what we think. Do we really need followership to show that we are Leaders? If we wanted others to follow us, who are we following? As Joseph Campbell said, "If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's." And, as this saying goes, we are both followers and leaders at the same time.

A leader needs some followership as that is what helps her/him to tread a new path. However, a person becomes a leader only when s/he creates more leaders, not just followers.

In my personal experience, I have tried hard to create leaders. Today, as I look back on my career, I see so many who worked with me occupying various positions across different companies. They are the Leaders of today and will create the leaders of the future. It is heartening to see so many of my colleagues take on the challenges that the corporate world faces today and trying their best to change paradigms.

They say that Leaders must hire their future bosses. But, let us look back on our career to see how many leaders would work for someone who they hired. I have seen few who have done that and have been amazing at that. When I asked them how they did it, I got various responses but the common threads were that they all understood their limitations well. They were all driven by the role they wanted to play and not by the position or who they reported to. They understood clearly what stage they were in life and, therefore, what motivated them.   If I ask myself would I do that, the honest answer will be that I will struggle. I can say that of all those who worked with me, there are few individuals I would not mind working for. But for most others, I would struggle.

Many of us struggle to give up a powerful position or role. Nothing wrong in that because that is what we have strived for all these years - not to give it up. However, personal priorities keep changing and we must recognize that and find that balance between personal priorities and work. Some struggle to get back to a job after having quit it. Personally, I have gone through this dilemma. We struggle with ourselves more than anything else. Did we fail and is that why we want to move back to a job? So, long as we have learnt from the experience, I do not see anything as a failure. Life teaches us all that we need. Only, we need to be patient and reflect to be able to pick up those lessons. I never found it a problem to move back to a job when personal circumstances changed and I thought that it was best for me at that point in time to get back to the corporate world. All it needs is the flexibility to understand the situation and move on in life. 

As I walked along the street I crossed a street light and as the light came from behind me, my shadow suddenly came in front of me and was taller than me. I was following the shadow!!!

Leadership is everywhere....

When we generally ask the question of a gathering as to who thinks they are a leader, very few hands go up. This is because we see a leader as someone really successful or a politician who has made it or a very senior corporate person who is on top, etc. We tend to believe that leaders are those people who have seen it, done it all kind of people.

The flooding in South India over the last few weeks brought out leaders from real life. They were everywhere. From the person who swam in fast flowing water risking his life to save a family, to someone who cooked silently and fed few hundreds who needed food, to someone who gave his boat (read his source of livelihood) to rescue people, to someone who gave up his food package and went hungry for that night so that a younger child could eat, all of these people are leaders. They have shown leadership and it is for us to take a look and recognize them.

Yes, leadership is everywhere. It is within each of us. It is for us to recognize it, awaken it and let it flow. When you stood by your family member when s/he needed you, you were a leader. When you told the truth to your parent despite knowing that you would be chided, you were a leader. When you accepted and apologized for an error you made, you were a leader. When you kept your calm under fire, you were a leader. When you woke up to put your little brother to sleep so that your mom is not disturbed you were a leader. When you gave up your piece of bread to your little sister and waited for mom to come back with a few more pieces, you were a leader. Like this, there are thousands and thousands of examples of leadership that we see and experience in everyday life. However, we do not seem to acknowledge or appreciate them.

As John Maxwell says, "Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another." When we look at our lives, for most part what happens to us is only a small part. How we react to or deal with what happens to us is what determines who we are. Our attitude defines leadership. Let us now bring this to our homes and to our work place.

When we show that we are dealing with a situation with calm and maturity, with speed and agility, with integrity and honesty, people start seeing us as role models. Such role models (whatever be their position in the organization) are the real leaders in the organization. They end up building informal networks, they are able to influence the way the organization thinks not because of the power of their position, but because people see them as someone who they can trust and would like to emulate. They may not always have their way, but in the end they are able to influence the organization significantly. I am sure each of you reading this blogpost is smiling because you already are thinking of someone who is like this or you yourself is such a person. At home, your family is watching you. If you are a person who walks the talk, who is transparent, who is filled with love, who has the time for the family, you are the role model.

When the floods in South India caused havoc, many people decided to help out the impacted. I was one of them. I sent out an appeal for contributions and few of us worked to organize storage, transport and then distribution to many flooded areas in Chennai. This exercise brought out leaders across the society. People travelled 2 hours to get relief material in to our central location in Bangalore. Something amazing happened when one person put out my request within his group. He is someone who is a Senior Manager in a large multinational in Bangalore. He organizes pilgrimages, prayer sessions and helps people without expecting anything in return. A mail from him to his friends brought in close to 5 tons of relief material. So many people just walked in to contribute. On the day we had to send the materials, we ended up with 7.5 tons. This had to be sorted and re-packed and loaded in to the truck. 25 people helped us do this...except for 4 of them, everyone else was volunteering. Each of these people did not know who the materials were going to. They knew that they could make a difference by volunteering, by contributing, by coming forward to help when it was needed. Leadership is not about winning. It is not about power. It is about the ability in each one of us to empower ourselves and others. 

As John Quincy Adams says, "When you inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."

Outsourcing Karma and Parenting...

My wife and I were discussing as to why we willingly give away our wealth to children or part with it to our children but hesitate when we think of giving it to others or for other causes, however worthy the cause may be. My wife talked of the spiritual side of this. She told me that the souls of the parents are indebted to the souls of their children. That is why parents keep giving more than they receive from children. They give without a thought of whether they will receive anything from their children. This is also part of karma.

Parents not only give away wealth but their time in bringing up children. Driving them around to various classes, spending time to teach them, helping them with their school work, etc. All this is part of their karma as at the soul level they are indebted to the souls of their children.

It was the Dussehra Festival in India. A celebration of the triumph of Good over Evil. A nine-day festival. People travel across India to spend time with their families. Schools are generally closed for 2 weeks during that month. My wife and I had also closed our school and were looking forward to getting some rest. I got a call from someone who asked if we were going to conduct remedial math classes for other school children at our School. Without pausing she continued, “My son has scored poorly in the first term math exams. He needs to be helped. I am wondering if you would like to take math classes for him during these holidays and then continue with it afterwards. I am willing to pay the fees, whatever it may be.”

To me it sounded like, “Here, take all the money that you want and teach him maths.” Though her soul was indebted to her son’s soul and that she needed to spend time with him, she decided to replace that time with money and outsource her karma to our school. Some parents do not know what to do with children during holidays. They prefer that they are in some School doing some activity. Sounds familiar?? I am sure all of us have gone through this in some form or the other. We don’t mind handing over some of our responsibilities if someone else will take it.  We don’t mind paying for it. Karma is being outsourced!!!

More and more parents are finding it difficult to juggle between their careers and their personal lives. Most people working in cities are spending few hours on commute everyday apart from long hours at work. This just puts tremendous stress in their lives. Taking care of children has become difficult. They find it easier to just hand over their children to a School or a Day Care and be more of weekend parents.

The current factory model of schooling does not augur well for average to below average students. They get left behind in class. From a School's perspective it is not possible to have less than 35 children to a class. It is not economically viable. In India, real estate prices have sky rocketed. The cost of setting a school does not make it financially viable if the school has less than 35 students to a class. If there are less numbers, the fee to be collected shoots up significantly. Parents want the facilities, the best of teachers, etc. (and rightfully so) but do not want to pay for that. Given this situation, schools end up taking 35 to 40 children to a classroom. This does put pressure on teachers. Over 50% of the learning happens at home. Parents have to spend that time. Given the pressures they have at work, they are not able to spend time. Hence, they expect the school to be in charge of everything - from the academics of the child to her/his values to her/his sports program to her/his dance/music, etc.

Parents are, therefore, losing their status as role models for their children. In many cases they are becoming poor role models as they have outsourced value education to the School. While Value Education talks of various things to children, in actual life, they are witness to something that is different  - eg. it is fine to bribe to get out of trouble (if you have broken the law), it is fine to break a traffic rule; it is fine to tell a lie to get out of a situation (and now we have colours for lies - white lies meaning something that is not harmful), it is fine to keep your room untidy, it is fine to spend most of your time on a gadget rather than on a play field, it is fine to sit in front of a TV for hours together, and so on. This is because parents just do not have the time to spend with their children. Both of them need a career (and there is nothing wrong with this). But, then, we are making a conscious choice that quality time with children will be limited to none. The child now starts believing that this is the way the world works. 

Guess what happens when the child starts rebelling when s/he gets in to teens? The School is to blame. The School has not taught values, the school has not focused on academics, the school has taught the child poor habits and so s/he is more focused on gadgets and TV than books. Now we know that Karma is fully outsourced.

“Not only is there often a right and wrong, but what goes around does come around, Karma exists, chickens do come home to roost, and as my mother, Phyllis, liked to say, “There is always a day of reckoning.” The good among the great understand that every choice we make adds to the strength or weakness of our spirits—ourselves, or to use an old fashioned word for the same idea, our souls. That is every human’s life work: to construct an identity bit by bit, to walk a path step by step, to live a life that is worthy of something higher, lighter, more fulfilling, and maybe even everlasting.” ― Donald Van de Mark, The Good Among the Great: 19 Traits of the Most Admirable, Creative, and Joyous People

Take this to the workplace. Whether you do the work yourself or delegate it to your teams, you are accountable for the outcomes of the work done. In the event of an issue within your organization, would you go to the customer and say that it was a mistake made by one of your team members? Would you tell him that you cannot be held accountable for mistakes made by one your team members? When you delegate work, you still feel accountable. This is exactly the situation in a school too. Even though you delegate education to them, you are accountable for how well your children perform. At the end of the day, you are accountable for the values they have imbibed. If this is clear and you work towards this, you will see drastically different results with your child at home and with the customer at work.

What goes around definitely comes around. It is best that we understand that "we reap what we sow". We cannot outsource this. We are accountable for every action of ours even if that is outsourcing our parenting. When we look back, the time spent with our children and with people around us are all that live within us. The money we made, the success we had in our careers, etc. all pale into insignificance. Life is full of choices and come with their own consequences...so, are outsourcing our karma and parenting!!!