Resilience

There are many things that are similar. But, not many things are the same. Our fingers are different, the people we meet are different, the situations that we encounter are different. All of us know that each day of ours is not the same. Then, why do we expect our performance to be the same year after year?

Every day is new for us and completely different from the earlier one. We go through the day and, at times, come out well. Other days are just really long days and we struggle through them. This will be the same with regard to our performance too. Some years will be good and some will not be. That does not mean that we have become low performers. We need to just go through the lean times and bounce back. As I said earlier in another blog of mine, it does not matter how many times you fall. What matters is how fast do you get back on to your feet, dust yourself off and move on.  In the journey of our career which could be 40 years, there will be significant ups and downs. We need to manage that. And to do that, what we really need is resilience.

Many years ago, my friend and I were talking when the company we worked for got a new CEO. He told me as to how many CEOs had come and gone and the company still survived. It had been a bit difficult to change the original culture of the company though things had changed.  Though he did not say it, I could hear him say, "The CEO is dead...long live the CEO!!!"  Yes, he had seen many changes at the top and had survived and had worked for few of them. I then asked him as to what was it that he had that made him survive so many leaders, their likes and dislikes, the changes in direction the company had to take because of each of them, the confusion within the company ranks, etc. He smiled and said, "Resilience, my friend".  You need enough energy to see this one through and get to the next one!!!

I found that very funny and annoying too.  Why do I need to stick around if I get a lousy boss or a boss who does not see eye to eye with me? I can just find another job within the company or outside of it and move on. Again, he smiled and told me that sticking around and managing when things are changing constantly is one of the most difficult things to do. He said if there is so much uncertainty all around, things can be difficult and frustrating. However, he had learnt to live through those. It was because he loved the company very much. He liked coming in to office everyday. He wanted to stand by his team because circumstances were difficult. And, most importantly, he knew that harsh winters give way to a lovely spring and a beautiful summer.  Just like we change clothes to meet the seasons so that we feel comfortable, we need to change some of our mental clothes.  This, he called, resilience.

 

As weather patterns change, we need to survive. We wear thicker or thinner or more or less clothes, switch on an air-conditioner or a room heater, wear a cap, carry an umbrella...we do so many things to physically protect ourselves. What do we do to survive change within organizations? We don't seem to change to mentally protect ourselves. We continue to behave the same despite changing circumstances. So, how do we develop this approach to change based on the changing requirements?  You could turn around and ask me - is survival the end game or the only game you need to play? Don't you want to stand up and call out poor management as and when that happens? Don't you want to fight the system if you feel only wrongs are getting done?  Yes, while all this is necessary, it is essential to survive to be able to do these effectively. And for that, we need to be flexible and show some resilience. 

 

Our ability to weather the storm (as they would call it) is built through character, personal courage, the passion for work, the love for the organization and the care for our colleagues.  All these put together create a mental toughness in us. It comes with training and some in-born tenacity.  It does not allow us to give up...there is always a larger cause that we see that is more important than the situation in hand. The larger cause could be the passion, the love, the care and these are supported by the character that we build in ourselves.  I call this resilience.

 

I am sure each of you has your own definition of resilience. What ever it is, I believe that it is essential to be resilient to make things happen in organizations.  Go ahead...build that resilience and be the change.

Alignment

I was reflecting on a situation that I faced years ago where I had one of my team members vehemently disagreeing with me on an approach. After hearing him out for sometime, I got tired and told him to just do what I had said I wanted done. He went away very unhappy.  As I reflected, I asked myself as what would I have done today if I met with the same situation.  Over the years since I was faced with the situation mentioned above, I have had many who have not agreed on an approach suggested by me. This could be because they did not see the situation from my vantage point, they had a different view given customer compulsions, they were not privy to all information and many other reasons.  If I am unable to get past the disagreement, I tell them that I am not looking for agreement but alignment.

 

I have myself disagreed with the approach taken by my managers (read bosses) at times and I express my difference of opinion. However, if I cannot get my boss around to think like me, I align because what the organization needs is alignment.

 

So, how can you align if you do not agree to what is being told to you? This is a really difficult question.  In such situations, it is necessary to view this from your boss's shoes. If you are convinced with the his/her points of view, then you agree. If you don't then you need to ask the question as to what is he/she not telling you.  If there are indeed things that he/she is not telling you, then, you need to trust your boss and move on. If there is nothing, then, there is a clear disagreement and you need to figure out your course of action.  If the disagreement is fundamental to your core principles, it is best to let your boss know that there is conflict and he/she will know that you will move on out of this job because living with such conflicts become difficult.  However, if there is no such fundamental disagreement, then, let trust play out. I have always seen that if you trust and align, your boss feels increasingly obliged to tell you more and more of all situations while seeking alignment.

 

The science of yoga asks for alignment of the body, the mind and the energy. It really does not ask for agreement. This is primarily because "you" are not the body, the mind or the energy. You are different from each of these and you will have to ensure that this alignment happens. Many a time you struggle to get agreement - while you want to bend forward, the body is not in a shape to do that. So, the body is not aligned to your needs and, therefore, does not agree to your request. However, the body is making a request to you - "Can you please get me fit enough to get aligned to your needs." If "you" really want to be the master, you need to get the body, the mind and the energy to align because you control them.

 

If you are a good manager (read boss), you will get your team to align by first preparing them for the need and then requesting their agreement and alignment. When your teams are prepared (like the body or the mind), they are in a better position to agree and align.

 

Of course, despite all the preparation, you will find those situations where someone does not agree with your assessment. This is more so when you have larger teams. This is why communication across layers and larger teams are difficult and need more time spent on intent of thought than just the "what" that needs to be communicated.  It is important to communicate the "what" and the "why" and not just the "what".  If we do that and leave the "how" to our teams, we find better agreement and alignment.  Many a time, we do not do this because we are in a hurry. Most leaders don't look for agreement...what is essential for them is alignment.  Most good leaders will vary their approach...when the situation is not one of fixing a huge problem, it is agreement and alignment. When the situation is break-fix and somewhat of a "all hands on deck" situation, then, it is alignment and not necessarily agreement. As I always say, there is no right or wrong...it depends on the situation and that too at that point in time for that individual.