Good, bad, right, wrong...

Good and bad, right and wrong are as created by man. Someone or something is good or bad and right or wrong at a particular point in time only and that too at an individual level. So, what was good for me this morning may not be the same in the afternoon. If the concept is as fickle as this, why do we spend so much time on it? Is abortion god or bad? Is gay marriage the right thing to do? Should trans-genders be part of mainstream society? The news that a pregnant lady who died because she could not go through abortion as law thought it was bad, was shocking. Does all this good and bad come before us as human beings or should we put humans before such concepts? After all, all these concepts are man made.

I was talking to a friend of mine who recalled his first reaction of shock when his brother confided to him that he (his brother) was a gay and was confused. He recounted how it took his mother years to come to terms with the fact. He was someone who had not thought of gays as good or bad, but when he realized his brother was a gay, it changed his outlook. Obviously, the brother who he had grown up with and loved, was not bad. He could not become bad because he was born with a different sexual orientation.

The same goes for trans-genders. In India, we have marginalized them so much that they are in to begging and crime to a large extent. It is only over the last few years that the Government has given equal status. Whose fault is it that someone is born as a trans-gender?  I watched, in horror, a transgender recounting his story of how he was scorned by his family. His parents could not accept that he was born different. He was asked to leave home as he brought ridicule from the society to everyone in his family. He was cut off from the will. Finally, he was the person who supported the family when they needed it most. All of a sudden, the bad son had become an angel. The bad had become good. The so called shameful act of accepting him as a son, was not really shameful after all. But, the fact that he was able to forgive his family was amazing to say the least.

As a society, we are prejudiced. We do things that suit us and call that good. The only problem is that this good does not suit all of us.  Money is a great means to divide us in society. The difference between the haves and the have-nots has increased so much, that this society is facing a time bomb that is ticking away. A lot of what we call bad for society - theft, terrorism, unrest, mafia, etc. are all as a result of economic mal-functioning in society. A person who cannot get a job ends up transporting RDX for $60 a month without realizing what he is doing...right or wrong? People who have fought for their right over land and investments from the government, get tired of waiting for decades for the government to invest. They get violent and now demand for their rights - right or wrong? You turn on the TV and news is all about something not going well somewhere in the world.  And if you look at the root cause, it comes down to our inventions most of the time - money, religion, apathy, greed...and the list goes on.

There are 7 billion of us in this world (7000 million)...of this we have 10 million people in prisons...and maybe another 40 million criminals outside (purely guess work from me)...so, 6950 million people run their lives based on the poor tendencies of these 50 million people.  Take the security checks that we go through at airports..the kind of time and money that is spent on such activities has only been increasing...the society is wasting its resources on protecting us from ourselves!!! Great way of blowing up our money...and guess what..this same money is one of the main reasons for the spend.  We have become experts in leading our lives to protect ourselves from this absolute minority. This minority that was largely created by our own inventions.

Right, wrong, good, bad...we need to think this through clearly. As I stated at the beginning...these concepts are from a particular person's point of view and at a particular point in time. Inclusive growth, lesser greed, a mind to give (and not only to take), sharing and tolerance are the need. We need to put the human being and his/her life above all other considerations. A lady dying because law did not permit abortion is just not acceptable. A trans-gender not getting equal rights as his/her brother or sister is just not acceptable. A gay or a lesbian denied rights in mainstream society is just not acceptable. Human life should mean much more to us than our inventions like money, law and religion.

Corporate Alcoholism

I was talking to a friend of mine who told me how he refers to his work experience not as 20 years in his company but as 80 quarters. So, I asked him why. To which, he replied with a huge smile, "This company lives and dies by the quarter and has been doing so ever since I joined. There is no change. At the end of every year, we believe that the new year will be different where we will be able to plan better. However, the market thinks otherwise. We seem to be working for the investment bankers and their quarterly shenanigans". 

In India, liquor is sold in bottles that can hold one-fourth of a litre. They are also called "quarters".  What a coincidence!!! Corporate executives and alcoholics seem to be living by the quarter.  I thought I will call this corporate alcoholism.

While focusing on the immediate needs of a company and its performance, leaders also need to plan for the long term. Long lasting corporations seem to be those that are unlisted or listed ones that accept that there will be quarterly fluctuations.  There are many listed companies that have been around for over 50 years but have lived on a quarter to quarter basis because of the pressure the leadership feels to deliver to the expectations of the Street. While such companies do exist, their leaders have not been around for long.

The Street does not seem to care whether there is downturn in the economy or the industry is going through its downward cycle or the company is facing some issues. It wants returns and it wants companies to turn in more and more profits every quarter. This has put tremendous pressure on leaders as their compensation, their reputation as leaders and performance are judged by the Street only on this one criteria - growing profitability quarter after quarter.  I have seen many leaders, therefore, sacrifice long term sustainable profits for short term measures.

For this reason, many leaders are now thinking whether it is worth the while chasing illusory profits because some investment bankers want it.  They are asking for a reporting that is just not profits which caters to one stakeholder called the shareholder. They want to be judged on sustainable returns to all stakeholders - shareholders, employees, customers, suppliers, society in which the company operates, etc.

Such a measure then challenges what most leaders have been taught in business schools - Maximize Shareholder Wealth. It is not any more about shareholder wealth only but reasonable stakeholder returns which includes the society in which the company operates.  Leaders have grown up thinking that maximizing shareholder wealth is their only mission and suddenly that tenet is being challenged.  Further, investment bankers are worried because suddenly the money they make on scrips and options on these scrips (or vapour ware as I call it), seems to be under threat.  So, such measures, while being the need of the day, may not see the light of day for sometime to come.

What we need is for Governments of the day and Accounting Bodies to come up with reporting and disclosure standards that talk of returns to stakeholders.  We also need theories on stock valuation that are based on long term returns to stakeholders and not just maximizing shareholder wealth. Price to Earnings (or P/E) ratios should be restated as Price to Stakeholder Returns ratio. Such a move, though difficult now, is something that all of us should push for to get rid of this corporate alcoholism.

Discipline

I am writing this post from the Isha Yoga Centre at the foothills of the Velliangiri Hills (also known as the Himalayas of South India) which is near a place called Coimbatore. This is a 300 acre campus filled with greenery and the Guru (or Teacher), Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev, and his volunteers are building out one of the best centres that is based on ancient Indian wisdom.  A lot of work is being done on the practice of Yoga. Yoga is a way of life. It is usually misunderstood to be a set of physical exercises or breathing techniques and sometimes even mistaken to be a branch of Indian Religion. It is not religion. It is spirituality. It is a way of life and goes across food habits, physical well-being, breathing, personal reflection, the spiritual body and mind, etc.  The Sadguru says that the human body is the most complex mechanism and it needs a lot of dedication to be able to focus and maintain well-being. It can be done if our way of life is managed well. He asks the question of leaders today, "If you cannot manage yourself, how will you manage others?" An interesting question that all of us must reflect upon.

The whole centre (or ashram as it is called in India) is run and managed by volunteers. So, no one takes home a salary. Yet, you see a smile on everyone's face. They are all here as they believe that they are following their calling.  They strongly believe in what they do and have utmost pride in their jobs.

One of the most striking features I noticed in the ashram is the concept of self-service. This is best exemplified in the canteen where food is served. You pick your plate, take the food, eat it and then go out with your plate and clean it. This is not typical in most Indian households where you have maids to do this. There are many other examples too. This concept of self-service is one of the hallmarks of this ashram.

Everything happens in an orderly fashion. You will not hear too much of noise other than the rustling of the trees, the chirping of the birds and human voices which are in hushed tones. The silence and the clockwork precision with which things happen here is absolutely amazing. Just step out of the campus and you will find utter chaos (very typical to Indian roads, cities and villages) but somehow, in the midst of all this chaos, this campus has been built and it has nothing but absolute orderliness.  I was wondering as to how this came about....it must be discipline...of the best kind...self-discipline.

The ashram shows how a disciplined life can actually benefit all of us as a human race in the long run. From good health to smiling faces and absolute pride in the work that is being done (whether it is a menial task or something that is more complex), people seem to be enjoying whatever they are doing.  All it needs from us is the willingness to be disciplined (from waking up by 4.30am to the food we eat and to the physical practices that we need to follow).  The system seems to relax your mind and your body completely...maybe, this is what the Sadguru calls as the Inner-Engineering.

I heard of the concept of the spiritual body here and maybe once I get to know this better, I will write on that. The real learning for me is how to be disciplined in our lives be that at work or at home or at any other place.  If we can put things in perspective and take our lives one step at a time in an orderly manner, we will not only benefit ourselves but also the rest of the world. 

The Missing Ingredient

Eating out is a culture in all countries.  We enjoy going out and having a good time with family or friends or colleagues. At times we like the food and at times we do not like the food. I have heard people complain many a time - we went to that restaurant and the food was greasy or was too spicy or the salt was not enough.

We grow up eating the food made by our mom and our taste buds are attuned to the food that is served to us by our moms...that is why we hear people say - nothing like mom's food.  As we grow older, we also get used to the food cooked for us by our spouses and children. My wife and kids like my cooking and I like theirs. So, did our taste buds change over the years?

While we complain that the food was possibly spicy at the restaurant, if our mom or spouse did the same, we smile, say that the spice could have been reduced slightly but actually enjoy the food served.

I was wondering what makes the difference between the food at home and that in a restaurant that we prefer home food.  While we do need the change and go to restaurants, we still prefer home food at the end of the day.  What drives the difference? What is that secret sauce? I know of an ingredient and I believe that when that ingredient is put into food, the food becomes absolutely delicious.

As I added oregano seed to the Indian dish, I wondered how it would taste. This was an Italian seasoning but I was adding it to an Indian dish that would typically have had a different seasoning.  Guess what...my kids loved it!!! They not only liked the taste and the aroma, they felt that I had done something completely new and different.  The hug that I got from them, made my day.

I had found the secret sauce...the ingredient that is available in home cooked food that you will rarely find in restaurants - it was LOVE!!! 

The love that goes in to the cooking of the mom, of the spouse, of the children just cannot be substituted. That love makes the food tasty even if there are minor errors...that love makes the food even yummier when it comes out perfect...that love not only fills the stomach but satiates that taste buds...the perfect meal!!!

So, if you have been eating out most of the days, try cooking or try home made food - it will definitely taste better - no one can match the love that family gives!!!

The 4 Idiots

Those who are familiar with Indian Cinema, would have heard of the movie 3 Idiots. The movie was a blockbuster and won immense acclaim from all viewers. The director of the movie has tried to tell the audience that they must follow their passion and not study for the sake of just getting educated in order to get a job. He says that true happiness comes when you follow your passion.  The story is told through 3 young men who meet at the University and decide to follow their passion..hence the title, 3 idiots.

The American education system has been doing this for decades now. They have offered students various options and the ability to follow subjects of their choice.  So, while in India you can do a program in medicine but need to take up science and maths from the 8th grade, you can choose your subjects up to the time you do under-graduate education in the US. So, I have seen children take history or philosophy along with biology in the US or even study music.  These options are not available in India today.

I was reminded of a society that lived thousands of years ago and was highly advanced. They had split their society in line with the needs of their lives. They had broken their society along 4 lines. They realised that all people were not born identical. Some preferred the intellectual path, some where more aggressive, some had a very good inclination for commerce and some liked working hard. Based on this and the need of the society, they split the society in to 4 types of people - the Thinkers, the Warriors, the Traders and the Workers.  They laid down rules of how each of these types of people will behave so that their society lived in harmony.  For eg., they realised that the Thinkers could get a bit arrogant because they were intellectually better off than others. So, they were asked to go house to house and request for their food. The others in the society were told not to refuse food when they were asked.  It was also possible that in a house you could end up having a Thinker, a Warrior, a Trader and a Worker. Society, was driven on the lines of specialisation and aptitude of the individual.

Over years, this society morphed due to the greed of individuals. The Warriors ended up having a leader - the King. The King was always supposed to be the most worthy leader.  Over a period of time, the King realised the power he wielded and so started working to see if his son (if he had one) could become the next King.  The Thinker realised that the society consulted him on all their day to day problems and the King also consulted him/her on complex issues. The Thinker also realised that if he was close to the King, he derived significant power in the society. So, he started aligning with the King and just like the King, he started trying to get his son/daughter to be a Thinker whether he was one or not.  This gave birth to the caste system that we know off today in India with so many castes and sub-castes.

However, all that the society wanted those days were 4 Idiots - a way to create specialisation in line with the aptitude of the people.  Greed morphed it to become something as deadly as what we see today. We are willing to kill each other in the name of caste. We discriminate each other in the name of caste. Discrimination over the years has given rise to reservation for the so called lower caste for decades in India. This has resulted in the marginalization of the forward castes in India today.

I am sure that when these 4 idiots were created by society, no one would have wondered that it could take such ugly turns to become a monster that it is today. 

In India, we struggle to change our education system and keep talking of following our passion when our ancestors had actually created something for us thousands of years ago.  It is unfortunate that we let greed get the better of us and instead of creating a system that changed as society became more and more complex, we created a monster. 

Happiness - A State of Mind

I am a bit impatient when I drive. Those who know off Indian roads, know well that the rules of the road are seldom followed. This irritates drivers like me who follow rules.  When people break the rules, I would swear, "Son of a b$x!\@".  I would not wait to think as to who was with me in the car. One such day 7 years ago, when someone broke the rule, I was about to scream but my 4 year old beat me to it. She said, "Dad, son of a b$x!@" ???  I felt terrible and told her not to repeat that again and apologized to her for doing it myself.  When I got back home I was reminded of an old story of a New York Cabbie.

In New York, many don't follow the rules of the road. A person traveling in a cab saw how the cab driver was managing the traffic. He was driving with a huge smile and humming to himself despite many cars cutting him off on the road or plain just breaking every rule.  The person asked the cabbie, "Are you not upset with these guys who just don't follow the rules?"  The cabbie replied, "Sir, everyday, many people throw garbage at you. This could be in the form of abuses or just irritating you by not following rules or doing something that gets to you.  We need to remember that it is left to us whether to take this garbage on to us or not. If we decide not take the garbage, life is that much more peaceful."

The story taught me a very important lesson in life - People can do anything, but each of us can decide how to receive it and this is what results in how we react to the situation.  If we decide to remain positive and happy, no one can take that away from us.  If we decide to blame everyone else for the situation that we are in and behave like a victim, no one can bring happiness to an unhappy soul like us.

I have seen many people who are in a very good situation in life but are unhappy because something has not worked out in their lives.  I have heard of situations where people get tensed and remain unhappy because they did not have a new dress to wear for a party in the evening.  It would be great if such people just paused and thought of the millions of people who do not even have a proper dress to wear or more than one meal a day. As the great Indian Poet Kannadasan once wrote, "There are millions of people worse off than you. Think of them and the situations they are in and you will get peace of mind." (This is a poor translation of what he wrote in an Indian language called Tamil).

I have also seen so many people who live happily despite all the problems that they face in life. They overcome their difficulties and keep moving on cheerfully. These are the people who are the real heroes in life. Just imagine the world where everyone in the morning train that you take to work actually exchanges a smile with each other...a smile can go a long way and it is one commodity that gets returned by the other person with a very high rate of interest!!!  Yes, happiness is state of mind and you can decide to either be happy or not. If you decide to be happy, no one or nothing can make you unhappy.

Whatever happened to trust

I was watching the flight path on a flight. The screen changed and I could see the map of the country in to which we were landing...below the map I noticed the following words - "This map depicts the physical boundaries and should not be interpreted as the political boundaries."  guess the airline was being careful as any misrepresentation could ground them or cause a problem that would be expensive.

It is a real shame that every thing we say must have a qualification or some fine print as in the case above.  The legal consultants have a field day with this.

In every walk of life, we have got in to a bad habit of wondering what are the liabilities attached. Eg. The doctors ask for all tests to be done because they are worried that patients will take them to the cleaners if something went wrong later.  This has actually increased the cost of health care in all countries and getting health insurance has also become a problem.  The same goes with other professionals.  A large part of the fee that we pay professionals is today an overhead related to "Professional Indemnity Insurance".  Chartered Accounting firms pay millions of dollars of out of court settlements to manage this. The same goes to doctors.

I was driving in a taxi in London and chatting with the taxi driver. He was telling me that after dropping me off, he had to go to school to pick up his child. He went on to add that these schools call him or his wife if their child is suffering from a cold. They say that the school will not accept children with symptoms of flu because this will impact other children (absolutely correct stance to take) and it could lead to litigation later if parents feel that the child was neglected by the school.  He told me with a sad smile on his face, "This never happened when I was at school. The teacher would just take me to the sick room and ensure I was taken care off.  I would be asked to rest and then go home when someone came to pick me up at the time when school was over. The school would take a call if it was serious enough to take the child to a hospital and inform parents.  Today, parents are called if the child just sneezes."

Gone are the days when I would just cycle up to my friend's home hoping that he was there. I would turn up and his whole family would welcome me with a smile on their faces.  The same would happen when he came over to my home to play.  Today, we do not go over to someone's house without calling.  While in smaller towns and villages in India you do see people walk across few streets to visit one another, this is just not prevalent in larger cities. Even in cases of emergencies, we ask friends if we can come over. What is friendship if it needs permission at all times?  I do understand not taking someone for granted and for respecting privacy. But, are we forgetting how to live as a society?

The underlying tenet of most of what we do is trust. If there is a deficit of trust, it would become difficult to live.  We are now making it difficult for ourselves to live.  Our laws are enacted to punish the handful of people who live in this society. Yes, laws are needed to ensure we live in safety...but, I am not sure that it would be a great life if we were to live because laws exist. It would be a better place if we live because trust exists and laws are there only as a safeguard.