Reflective Listening & Collaborating...

How many times have you heard yourself and people say, "Please listen to me" or just "Listen to me" or "Please, let me complete"?  Today, in our daily lives, we have very little time for many things. In a conversation, typically, few people tend to hog the limelight and either continue to speak or just don't let the other person/s to speak.

I have been down with a very bad throat for the last few days and have almost lost my voice. So, in all the meetings, I had to sit in and listen more than speak...it was such a relief and I learnt a lot.  I also believe it was a boon to all those who had a meeting with me these last few days as they could get to say what they had to without me interrupting them.

A leader needs listening skills and this is probably one of the virtues that is least understood in today's world. The world we live in rewards those who are able to speak up and chime in every now and then rather than those who tend to be deep thinkers and speak less.  I believe that there must be a balance. Neither should we keep on talking nor should we be someone who is reticent to voice an opinion.  A good balance is needed between listening and expressing your views.

A skill that is really useful is both listening and reflective listening.  Once we move to reflective listening, then, we move in to the realm of collaboration.  I read an excellent definition of Collaboration that I would like to share with all of you...comes from the Catholic Diocese of Greensburg - Collaboration is "The act of working together through reflective listening and genuine articulation of ideas, in a partnership of mutual respect and diversity."

In my experience, those who are willing to listen carefully during conversations usually make for very good collaborators.  They are genuinely interested in the views of others and anyone speaking to them feel that genuine interest coming through. This encourages people to actively seek out listeners and work with them.

The Global Organization of today needs not just good doers but people who are able to seek out others in the organization and work with them across boundaries to make things happen.  This is the measure of leading with a global mindset.  So, more and more organizations today are willing to pay a premium for collaborative skill sets.

While individual brilliance and hard work definitely matter, collaborative work styles actually get you farther and that is why a premium is placed on this.  It is very difficult to assess this skill in individuals while interviewing and that is why we struggle when we choose people who are either great thinkers or doers but really not good listeners or collaborators.

Apart from reflective listening, I have seen some of the best collaborators actually reach out to others to actively seek out best practice and learning from experiences.  I have seen that they are typically inquisitive and ask a lot of questions. They are willing to discuss issues without being dogmatic.  They are practical people and focus on action oriented, experiential learning. They typically avoid office politics.

So, the next time someone is telling you, "LISTEN TO ME" and in capitals, it is worth the while pausing and carefully listening to what others have to say and reflecting on what they have said....it helps build the much needed emotional intelligence in us.

Taking Accountability

I was reading an email which was on a presentation that was made to me when I worked in an earlier organization.  This was a longish presentation and I had told the person that he needs to keep presentations short and not come with 40+ slides.  When his manager heard that I had made this comment, the immediate reaction on email to me was, "Ravi, did you want shorter presentations? Apologies, xx (name removed by me) has this habit of putting in x number of slides typically. Looks like I have to go through his presentations before it comes to you." 

With this mail, the manager just fell in my eyes.  This was a person who was willing to give up his team member in front of me. One of the most complex parts of leadership is taking accountability.  If you are to be a successful and respected leader, one of the most important aspects that your team will look up on you for is to lead from the front.  You will have to take accountability for the actions of your team.

So, you will wonder, "Gosh, if I have a team of 1500 people, am I accountable for the actions of each of them? Maybe, I do not even know their names". The answer is, "YES..you are accountable for the action of every person in your team, even if you don't know his/her name and have not even seen the person."

This accountability brings in complexities because you now need to be able to influence every one in your team to do things that you have set as goals or objectives and each one should have understood what you have committed upwards to the management team of the company.  How do you do this?

This is where communication comes in.  If you are wondering why people think that communicating clearly, promptly and across the different levels of the organization is important, it is because of this.  Communication is always how a person receives it and not just how you communicate it.  Each person receives your communication in a different way and unless you make yourself crystal clear, it becomes difficult to understand.  This is why face to face communication is always considered the best form so that the audience can actually ask as many questions and get clarifications.  Even after this, there will be people who will understand what was communicated differently.  If you decide to only send out your communication by email, it would be very difficult to get a common understanding within your organization.

Another aspect of accountability is personal courage.  Do you have the courage to accept the issues in your organization, work through those issues and fix them? Or are you a person who would like to point fingers on to others?  True leaders do not have time and respect for those who do not take accountability.  Each one of us needs to own our actions.  I am reminded of an incident where an email from me was sent by my communications team from their mailbox and there was an inadvertent error in that.  I had asked for an apology to be sent to the entire team and said that the apology email will be signed off by me.  The communications team manager walked up to me to say that she did not agree with me signing off the email because she felt that as her team had made the mistake, she should apologize.  While I respected her courage to take accountability for the error, I told her that in the eyes of those who received the mail, the buck actually stopped with me. So, the apology mail will go out but will be signed off by me and it went that way.

In every role that we play in our lives, there will be difficult situations...as a leader in your company, as a husband, as a dad, as a son, as a brother, as a friend...which ever hat you wear, you will be faced with tricky and difficult situations when you have committed errors. It is best to accept the error, apologize, endeavour not to repeat the mistake and move on in life.  The person who is capable of getting up each time he/she falls, dusts himself/herself and continues on the journey, typically wins.  The person who freezes each time he/she falls and is unable to get up and run again, finds it very difficult to get on with life.  Just watch a baby trying to walk.  Each time the baby falls, he/she will just get up again and try...that is the essence of life.  We will never get it right always. If we recognize that we will have to keep trying, then taking accountability for our actions will come automatically.