Reflective Listening & Collaborating...

How many times have you heard yourself and people say, "Please listen to me" or just "Listen to me" or "Please, let me complete"?  Today, in our daily lives, we have very little time for many things. In a conversation, typically, few people tend to hog the limelight and either continue to speak or just don't let the other person/s to speak.

I have been down with a very bad throat for the last few days and have almost lost my voice. So, in all the meetings, I had to sit in and listen more than speak...it was such a relief and I learnt a lot.  I also believe it was a boon to all those who had a meeting with me these last few days as they could get to say what they had to without me interrupting them.

A leader needs listening skills and this is probably one of the virtues that is least understood in today's world. The world we live in rewards those who are able to speak up and chime in every now and then rather than those who tend to be deep thinkers and speak less.  I believe that there must be a balance. Neither should we keep on talking nor should we be someone who is reticent to voice an opinion.  A good balance is needed between listening and expressing your views.

A skill that is really useful is both listening and reflective listening.  Once we move to reflective listening, then, we move in to the realm of collaboration.  I read an excellent definition of Collaboration that I would like to share with all of you...comes from the Catholic Diocese of Greensburg - Collaboration is "The act of working together through reflective listening and genuine articulation of ideas, in a partnership of mutual respect and diversity."

In my experience, those who are willing to listen carefully during conversations usually make for very good collaborators.  They are genuinely interested in the views of others and anyone speaking to them feel that genuine interest coming through. This encourages people to actively seek out listeners and work with them.

The Global Organization of today needs not just good doers but people who are able to seek out others in the organization and work with them across boundaries to make things happen.  This is the measure of leading with a global mindset.  So, more and more organizations today are willing to pay a premium for collaborative skill sets.

While individual brilliance and hard work definitely matter, collaborative work styles actually get you farther and that is why a premium is placed on this.  It is very difficult to assess this skill in individuals while interviewing and that is why we struggle when we choose people who are either great thinkers or doers but really not good listeners or collaborators.

Apart from reflective listening, I have seen some of the best collaborators actually reach out to others to actively seek out best practice and learning from experiences.  I have seen that they are typically inquisitive and ask a lot of questions. They are willing to discuss issues without being dogmatic.  They are practical people and focus on action oriented, experiential learning. They typically avoid office politics.

So, the next time someone is telling you, "LISTEN TO ME" and in capitals, it is worth the while pausing and carefully listening to what others have to say and reflecting on what they have said....it helps build the much needed emotional intelligence in us.