Life in Rewind or Fast Forward Mode

Many a time we would like to re-wind life and hope that something that happened did not. It could be that bad meeting that you had with a colleague of yours or an email that you shot off in frustration or a huge life changing event that has hit you. If only we could hit the rewind button, life would be so different.

 

At times we wonder why things are moving so slow in life. We are bored and want more action. Or it could be that elusive promotion at work. The action is missing and you wish that you could hit the fast forward button.

 

Ever thought of living in the present? The now and here? Somehow, we don't do this though that is what reality is. We need to learn to live in the present. What is now and here is real. All others have already happened or yet to happen. There is nothing much you can do about them. You don't control both. So, why focus on something that you don't control and just use the past as your learning points? Why don't we just grab the current moment that we are living in with both hands and make the best of it?

 

So, does this mean I am telling you not to plan for your future? No, not at all. Planning for the future is essential so that you de-risk it to some extent. But, believe me, you can do it only to some extent. So, give it all the importance and time that it needs. However, don't forget to live in the present. A great example would be to save for a child's education and planning for that. Another would be setting aside money for retirement, etc. All this needs you to work harder and put in those extra hours of effort. In pursuit of all this, will you then stop "living" with your family? Will you be so focused on the future that you forget that your family is right here next to you and wants your attention and time? This is what happens to most of us and then we complain about work-life balance. How work is so merciless that we need to sacrifice life for it. My dad said, "Work hard, plan well and play hard." I would see him come after a real tiring day at the factory and still have energy to play some cricket or ring-ball with us. He would spend time in the evening for a game of cards or carom.  He was with us in mind, body and spirit. How many of us can say honestly that we do this today?

 

We let our ambition, our need to excel and our worry of the tomorrow just steal the present away from us. It is necessary to be ambitious. It is essential to excel in whatever we do. Otherwise, there is no pride in the work that we do. It is necessary to plan for tomorrow. But, let it not take away the need to enjoy the moment today.

 

I am reminded of a dear friend of mine. She lost her husband in a split second to a massive heart attack. He was here now and she had told him that she would get him dinner as he was on the phone. By the time she came back in few minutes with dinner, he was dead. Over the last one year, I have seen her go through pain as she remembers all the good times that they had together. He is not there anymore to share her joys, her sadness, her anger, her pain. She just feels lonely. There were times that both of them fought on things. All those seem so trivial now. She told me that so many things that were really important to her have lost significance without her husband. She really wishes that she could hit the re-wind button so that she can find those times when they fought and convert them to moments when they could have lived happier. She wants to hit the re-wind button to savour for few more minutes the wonderful moments that she shared with her husband. She wants to hit the re-wind button so that she could live with him again.

 

Many a time, we do not appreciate what is with us. We live in the past or in the future and forget the present. When this dear friend of mine told me about her need to re-wind, I told her that while that is great, she needs to be really happy that she has a daughter, her dad, her sister and so many other friends and relatives who love her and will go that extra mile to help her. I told her that whilst what has happened is not easy to digest, life has to continue and she must move on. That if she loses sight of the people who are with her in the present, she will just die in the past. So, however tempted you may be to hit the re-wind or fast-forward button, think twice. Maybe, hit the pause button. Look around you. There is so much to love, enjoy and actually live for in the present moment.