Deciding on behalf of others

"Control your own destiny or someone else will", said Jack Welsh. Someone wrote that Karma (the word that stands for the law of cause and effect) is Negotiable. William Henley says, "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." We go about our lives believing that we decide for ourselves and do not let anyone take control of our lives. We also do not want to decide for others...it is such a pain to do that...and sometimes we have to do that...these guys for whom we have to sometimes decide for are losers...we just cannot believe that someone is letting us decide for them.

 

The day starts with a cup of tea - your spouse brought it for you. He/she had decided how much water and milk to put in to that cup of tea. You got ready to go to office and on your way grabbed the banana that was left on the table for you by your spouse. You made the choice of taking the banana because, honestly, there was no other choice. Between the pancake and the banana, the latter was a healthier choice.

 

As you reached the bus-stop, you said a quick hello to the few who travel with you in the same bus daily. Your day never started without them...of course, that was not your choice.  You got in to the bus and today, the bus is running 10 minutes late. You are upset but you have to choose the bus as it is economical. Wish you could take a taxi.  You are late, traffic has started building up and the bus driver suddenly decides to make up part of the lost time. He steps on the accelerator and the bus lunges forward. As the bus speeds on, you think that this fellow is driving dangerously. Gosh, but you are not in control of the bus. The bus speeds on and jumps a traffic light. The bus is stopped by a police officer for traffic violation and post all that you reach your destination - 20 minutes late. Today, you really wish that you were the bus driver. At least, you would not have over-sped and put the lives of so many people inside and outside the bus in danger. You would not have delayed the passengers further.

 

As you stepped out of the bus, God decided to take over. He sent a massive cloud above the city you live in and it started pouring. Before you knew it, you were drenched.  As you walked in to office soaked, your assistant gave you a towel to wipe yourself. Somehow, you have always wanted a white towel and she gives you the blue one.  As you wiped yourself dry, she brought you a nice, hot cup of tea. She always knew the exact ingredients and quantities to put in to make this lovely cup of tea.

 

As you sipped the hot cup of tea, you dialed in to the conference call for your first meeting of the day. These guys from all over the world had not agreed with your plan and you needed to take them through your plans and get them to agree with you. They called it "influencing skills" in your office. God, how you hated it. You just hoped you did not have to face all this bureaucracy.  Someone, sitting thousands of miles away, assumed he knew more about the markets you sell in. He had come up with such ridiculous sales policies.  There were so many things that you had to contend with before you could sell. Wish these so-called strategists and pricing experts just let you do your work in peace. And guess what...they tell you that you are aggressive and want to sell at all costs without taking in to account the company policies. That you should not decide on their behalf. You just don't believe it...you always thought that they were trying to decide on your behalf.

 

The day went on with such meetings...you trying to influence others and everyone else trying to influence you.  You felt everyone else in office was deciding on your behalf and many felt that you were deciding on theirs.

 

As you entered home, took a shower and sat down in front of the TV, you decided to watch football. Whilst you decided on watching football, you did that because this Cable TV provider had only 30 channels.  So, your choice was only from within these 30 channels.

 

As you sat down for dinner with your spouse, you reflected on the day that went by. In most of the situations, starting from how much water in your tea, to the speed of the bus, to the traffic violation, to the colour of the towel, to the policies in office, you had limited to no choice. Everyone else seemed to be making a decision on your behalf. And yet, we go through life wanting to be the master of our destinies. 

 

Actually, we seem to be doing a better job controlling others' destinies. I was reminded of various wars where few of us decide on behalf of the majority. These few decide on when and how to fight these wars, when and how we start these wars and when and how we use international mechanisms to send our own peace keeping forces after having started or participated from behind the scenes in these wars. We seem to be having at least 1 war going on somewhere in the world at any point in time. Did all these people impacted by these wars want the war? What if you are impacted by one of these wars directly? Are you fine with someone deciding on a war that impacts you and your family?

 

We believe that this is our life. That we need to manage our destinies. That we need to manage our careers. However, when you reflect on what happens around you in life, you will notice that there is very little in your destiny that you control. However, there is so much that you decide on behalf of others. This is the fact of our lives. We seem to decide on behalf of each other.